I was privileged to be part of the Removing Shame and Guilt Conference hosted in Birmingham recently. I was part of the expert panel and I also delivered confidence workshops.
I want to share with you today techniques we can use to improve our confidence and to understand why we often lack perceived confidence in certain areas.
I commonly hear, “I am not confident”. This is however a generic term. We don’t really mean this. We can be confident at lots of things e.g. Parenting skills, a good listener, great in the kitchen, business success, organising trips, an amazing driver – there are tons of skills we are confident in. We tend to put ourselves down however and over generalise.
Where does my lack of confidence come from?
If we have what I call low self thinking, this will come from the past and is linked to an old habit or belief about ourselves. This also relates to old emotions of the past which continue to play out in the same repeated behaviours. E.g fear, worry and anxiety. We are also conditioned by the past through what others tell us. We then end up believing this and perceive it to be real. Thus creating a “I can’t do it” or a “I am not confident” programme.
Thus it is important we get into the habit of high self thinking, a new confidence programme and mindset.
How can I do this?
It is worthy to note that to change our outer world (our environment, how we are viewed by others) we need to change our inner world (internal voice, patterns, habits etc). Change comes from within. However, be patient, it takes time! Would you visit the gym once and expect to come out with a buff body. No? So perseverance is the key. Allow it to become a new habit, part of your daily routine, and reap the benefits!
Here are a couple of exercises you can try –
Start the day with confidence
It is very easy to get up and moan and complain. Then you will start the day on a negative. Start the day with confidence. Change to your new mindset.
Here are a two exercises I want you to implement –
- Have some affirmations handy, on post it notes by the side of your bed or on your mirror. Think of affirmations that really resonate with you and have lots of energy. How do you really want to feel and look? – Be bold and exciting! Repeat these affirmations over and over as you get ready for your day, let them become your mantra, your new programme for you.
- The moment you wake up (great state to work in) sit up straight somewhere comfortable. Close your eyes. Relax your whole body from head to toe, simply imagine it relaxing. Once you have done this, imagine a confident you (in whatever situation is appropriate for you). How does it feel? Really step into that confident you and brighten up the whole scene. Brighten the colour, the sounds, the feelings, make it as viivid as you can, as if you are really there. Where you are you? What you are saying and doing? What are others reaction to you? This can be real or imagined as the subconscious mind doesn’t know the difference between reality and fantasy.
Be as bold as you can, and remember keep showing up, persistence is the key! Trust me, you will love the results. I am keen to hear how you have been getting on.
If you would like to know more about the work that I do, please contact me on the form below. You can also check the link to my confidence programme package whereby you can have the opportunity to work with me directly to achieve the confidence you deserve quickly and effectively.